Okay, so I’m guilty of #5, but take a look at all eight:
. . . One trick about writing for the Internet is remembering how little most of your readers give a f*ck about anything. At all times, they are a second away from every other site on the Internet, 75 percent of which have boobies. So don’t try entertaining them with one side of a pedantic argument. Make your case, in all your own words, slap on a picture of some twins riding a Slip n’ Slide and get out of the way. . .
And, yes, I doctored the profanity in there, but check it out.